tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5722735165669239585.post3219710403162802094..comments2023-05-24T23:33:57.516+10:00Comments on My Unwelcome Stranger: A decomposed letterDenis Wrighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12786035137418348609noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5722735165669239585.post-90357031410083414742013-05-26T10:22:10.435+10:002013-05-26T10:22:10.435+10:00These are both wonderful postings, and what you ha...These are both wonderful postings, and what you have in common is that you have both spent a long [and difficult] period of time caring for someone you love till their death. There's no doubt in my mind this gives you special insight. I won't get into a discussion about the relative merits of compassion and humility because they're really both sides of the same coin. <br /><br />It might appear that compassion is the province of the carer and humility that of the receiver, but there's something of both in both to lessen the impact of growing dependence of the latter on both.<br /><br />It was Neitzsche who said "To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering." That relates to the question Peter asked. We know from science what the <i>reason</i> for the suffering is, but meaning is the thing that's puzzled human beings ever since they became conscious of self, formed societies and devised notions of right and wrong.Denis Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12786035137418348609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5722735165669239585.post-71696358253311268922013-05-25T14:34:36.615+10:002013-05-25T14:34:36.615+10:00You wrote "you have to be the recipient of co...You wrote "you have to be the recipient of compassion and be able to accept it with grace before you can understand what it really means." I would say that to do that is to arrive at a state of humility. <br /><br />You also wrote "I am sure that compassion is the greatest virtue of humanity", but St Augustine thought that humility is the foundation of all the other virtues. I agree, as it seems to me that true humility (not a grovelling Dickens-ish pretend one!) is a state of ultimate acceptance of ALL realities and therefore a state of grace. Survival requires action, so we are born for that, and think it is wrong to be dependent. But humility enables you to remain independent no matter what occurs. It doesn't preclude action; Simone Weil says humility is "attentive patience". A sort of self forgetting I suppose. I'd really like to achieve that state.<br /><br />Anne as usual writes with perception and accuracy and I like what she says about the 'doing' part of compassion. It's quite painful to feel compassion but be unable to 'do'. ('attentive patience' is required!:)) <br /><br />I've actually never "felt sorry" for you, though I do, always have, empathise. My condition of relative health does not give me any superiority. Oh - it can be so hard to say things the way they are meant! Too many words..<br /><br />Julie M xx <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5722735165669239585.post-87190879292144625842013-05-24T22:34:39.155+10:002013-05-24T22:34:39.155+10:00I have been thinking about the link between compas...I have been thinking about the link between compassion and suffering that you have drawn. It seems that compassion is usually defined as a two part feeling, firstly sympathy or even better, empathy, but also intrinsic to the term is a desire to do something to help the sufferer. <br /><br />Empathy or even sympathy rarely go astray but the desire to help seems to be the problem. While you say a person's life is reflected in the "doing", that doing may be the hardest part of compassion to accept. To have people feel sorry for one is OK on one level. To have people want to help cannot but create a hierarchy in the relationship. I am sure this is rarely what the person feeling the compassion intends but it can be often felt by the recipient. It is difficult to accept help with our feeling of equality intact, even whilst feeling grateful, and this is made more difficult when the compassion is so strong that it oversteps boundaries. It needs a special person to give compassionate help well and a very special person to receive it without feeling diminished.<br /><br />So endeth my rambling, but rest assured your compelling words, as usual, have some of us, other than Pete, reflecting on the issue and remembering and reliving times when we have been on the giving or receiving end of compassion. Anne PAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com