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Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Five Sentence Fiction: Devotion

Once again, a five sentence fiction challenge posed by Lillie McFerrin.

This time: devotion. Here's a link to other contributions


Lillie McFerrin
Her anticipation mounted as she savoured the prospect of guilty pleasure, the wicked sweetness at the end – ah, she was so near now.

   She looked up into his eyes with that fateful longing, her lust so obviously exposed to the young man – this stranger.

   "I do this so rarely...." she stammered, "... it's..."

   "You did order extra fries and a double cone, didn't you?"

   "'s my one indulgence – just once in a blue moon," she tried to add, but already he had turned away, checking the next order as another car rolled up behind hers.



  1. I suffer from the same devotion myself... Nicely done.

  2. lol, I like the twist. Oh the guilt of taking a trip to Fat City.

  3. Haha! Of course I was totally headed in the wrong direction! Very nice!

  4. I'm not sure if the devotion in her eyes is for the young man or her food order, but there's definitely some "hunger" happening. Fun piece.

  5. I can easily relate to this kind of devotion... make it chocolate and I'm in love! Cleverly written to pull us in and leave us smiling!


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