William Sorensen, in the New Yorker, compiled a list of handy phone texting abbreviations for baby-boomers, should they get brave or foolish enough to tackle the difficult and more-or-less inexplicable process of text messaging.
|My mobile phone.
You may cease
But why put myself through 10 minutes of torment on a screen I can't read anyway when I can just press one button to bring up the number of the person I want to call, and say, "OK"? I could even add, "I love you" in a real voice, as long as I got the right number. Watto would be bemused, but not amused, should I leave a voice message for him telling him so when I really thought I was phoning my beloved.
Not that he would stand for having one of the infernal things. They to him are Satan's work - or perhaps, as he says frequently, 'I blame it on Whitlam.'
It's not like I don't have plenty of credit. This is pre-paid, but if I don't keep adding more money, I will lose the thousands in credit I've got stored there. That's what happens when you turn on your phone only once every three months or so.
Anyway, if I use the phone to phone someone, it works like a charm. I'm outa there in 5 seconds. Yet people tap in the equivalent of War and Peace, the unexpurgated version, on their fancy colour screens in about 20 seconds.
That, I have to admit, is predictive text at its best....
I have pinched Sorensen's best ones for an international readership, as I, e.g., don't have a clue what Caddyshack or Mojitoville are. His abbreviations are in italics. You probably could have guessed which are my additions anyway!
80/20 = Spouse doing more and more of the talking
EVAC = Finished Avastin infusion, come and get me
DITMP? = Did I take my pills?
JDTV? = Which channel has a Judi Dench movie tonight?
NSR = Need some roughage
T4W = Time for whisky
TN2WMP = Trying not to wet my pants
TXT L8R = Can’t find reading glasses
WILMA! = Lost my keys
WSWS = Wearing socks with sandals
WTFW? = What is that word I'm trying to think of?
WWID = What was I doing?
WAID = What am I doing?
WWIS = What was I saying?
X2EZ = Crossword puzzle too easy
ZZZ = Going for a rest
YOFFCOMP! = Yes, I’m getting off the computer right now
7X = I’ll always love you and I will until the day I die, even if I don’t tell you often enough