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Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Five Sentence Fiction: Devotion

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Once again, a five sentence fiction challenge posed by Lillie McFerrin.

This time: devotion. Here's a link to other contributions

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Lillie McFerrin
Her anticipation mounted as she savoured the prospect of guilty pleasure, the wicked sweetness at the end – ah, she was so near now.

   She looked up into his eyes with that fateful longing, her lust so obviously exposed to the young man – this stranger.

   "I do this so rarely...." she stammered, "... it's..."

   "You did order extra fries and a double cone, didn't you?"

   "Yes...it's my one indulgence – just once in a blue moon," she tried to add, but already he had turned away, checking the next order as another car rolled up behind hers.


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7 comments:

  1. I suffer from the same devotion myself... Nicely done.

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  2. lol, I like the twist. Oh the guilt of taking a trip to Fat City.

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  3. Haha! Of course I was totally headed in the wrong direction! Very nice!

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  4. I'm not sure if the devotion in her eyes is for the young man or her food order, but there's definitely some "hunger" happening. Fun piece.

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  5. I can easily relate to this kind of devotion... make it chocolate and I'm in love! Cleverly written to pull us in and leave us smiling!

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