Most of what you’ll read here is life and fun, with episodes from my past, amusing and serious. But I have an unwelcome stranger lodged in my brain, as you’ll find if you explore my stories. Our destinies are interlocked, but its deadly presence reminds me every minute that each day of life is a miracle. This is my space to reflect on life, and an interactive area where we can share our experiences freely. Without you, this blog has no reason for existence. Carpe Diem!
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Monday, December 6, 2010
Diary Update Monday, 6 December 2010
Chemotherapy has run its course for me. We can't even be sure whether or not this last treatment will make any positive difference, but it seems to me to be the best course to finish the year and give chemotherapy its last shot at helping to hold the brain tumour in check. I feel that its negative effects have now balanced out its positive ones and further chemotherapy will only weaken my system rather than strengthen my body's defences. We will never be sure because the Avastin provides another variable that makes it impossible to separate out the effects of both.
We've done this pretty much by the book, insofar as there is any book. Really there are just words in the sand, and we have to interpret them as best we can.
My head continues to be achey today. I have taken no other medication than what's prescribed as I don't want anything to interfere with the morning's Avastin and chemotherapy. My hope is that the Avastin today will make things better.
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I'm sorry you have a headache on top of everything else. Wonder what is causing it? Hope today's treatment has gone well.ReplyDelete
Den is back in bed after a hard morning. The chemo has increasingly meant rough times for him for up to a couple of weeks after each treatment. We can always see the effect of the Avastin wearing off by the end of each month, which means that the tumour is literally able to start to fortify itself again. It will do so with speed and intensity. This is the way it works, which is why keeping him on the Avastin for as long as it has an effect is so important. Today's dose couldn't have come a minute too soon. xoxo
Dear Den, Thanks for today, thanks for every day. Thanks for 'listening' thanks for setting such an example. You're a bloody good bloke old mate! You are the shining light in my life I absolutely didn't expect. :-) So there. XXXReplyDelete
Hi Julie. Back after sleeping some hours and feel a bit better. Tracey put it very clearly and succinctly (I wish I had her talent for that!) There really is only one cause.ReplyDelete
The pattern can change month to month depending on circumstances. In November, I took the best part of two weeks from the beginning of chemo to recover fair equilibrium overall. Then we had the upset with the too-low steroid the 'best' week which knocked that one out, and the Avastin clock started running out the next week as the tumour started to get its full blood supply back.
Each month the goalposts shift. So, we make the best of times that are as good as they can be, and try to learn what we can from experiences that we have.
Dear Lena - we have much to thank you for and I don't forget that for a moment. Leaving aside any of the many other considerations, especially earlier this year, you were [partly at least, and a big part at that!] responsible for the greatest gift I could possibly have had. She's resting at the moment. Caring for me with the love and skill she has is an enormous task is exhausting both mentally and physically.
So if good karma is created, it tends to cut more than one way. Thank you! xox
Dear Uncle Den,ReplyDelete
Thinking of you every day and wishing I knew what to say. Wishing I had a way to make things better. But only knowing I have a very special Uncle I love dearly.
But you said exactly the right thing! :) Don't fret now. We never know what's ahead. And I love you and all your [our!] family very dearly too. Have the best Christmas! We intend to. Love, Uncle Den.
Could you be my Uncle Den, too? Couldn't imagine a better uncle to have.ReplyDelete
But I thought I was! :) Hope to talk with you and Julie soon but need to come out of this week first. LAST CHEMO TOMORROW!!!ReplyDelete