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Saturday, September 24, 2011

Text abbreviations for baby-boomers

William Sorensen, in the New Yorker, compiled a list of handy phone texting abbreviations for baby-boomers, should they get brave or foolish enough to tackle the difficult and more-or-less inexplicable process of text messaging.

My mobile phone.
You may cease
sniggering.... NOW!
OK, I admit I can text message. Slowly. At last, I understand the principle of predictive text on my ancient mobile phone, even though I have to type every character anyway. I am very good at 'OK'. I answer OK to everything, or 'No'. Erasing is a mystery if I make an error. Sometimes I just say OK even when I mean 'No' as it saves heaps of bother. 

But why put myself through 10 minutes of torment on a screen I can't read anyway when I can just press one button to bring up the number of the person I want to call, and say, "OK"? I could even add, "I love you" in a real voice, as long as I got the right number. Watto would be bemused, but not amused, should I leave a voice message for him telling him so when I really thought I was phoning my beloved. 

Not that he would stand for having one of the infernal things. They to him are Satan's work - or perhaps, as he says frequently, 'I blame it on Whitlam.'

It's not like I don't have plenty of credit. This is pre-paid, but if I don't keep adding more money, I will lose the thousands in credit I've got stored there. That's what happens when you turn on your phone only once every three months or so. 

Anyway, if I use the phone to phone someone, it works like a charm. I'm outa there in 5 seconds. Yet people tap in the equivalent of War and Peace, the unexpurgated version, on their fancy colour screens in about 20 seconds. 

That, I have to admit, is predictive text at its best....

I have pinched Sorensen's best ones for an international readership, as I, e.g., don't have a clue what Caddyshack or Mojitoville are. His abbreviations are in italics. You probably could have guessed which are my additions anyway!
80/20 = Spouse doing more and more of the talking
EVAC = Finished Avastin infusion, come and get me 
DITMP? = Did I take my pills?
JDTV? = Which channel has a Judi Dench movie tonight? 
NSR = Need some roughage 
T4W = Time for whisky 
TN2WMP = Trying not to wet my pants 
TXT L8R = Can’t find reading glasses 
WILMA! = Lost my keys 
WSWS = Wearing socks with sandals 
WTFW? = What is that word I'm trying to think of? 
WWID = What was I doing? 
WAID = What am I doing? 
WWIS = What was I saying? 
X2EZ = Crossword puzzle too easy 
ZZZ = Going for a rest 
YOFFCOMP! = Yes, I’m getting off the computer right now 
7X = I’ll always love you and I will until the day I die, even if I don’t tell you often enough
(That last one is going to rack up heaps of good karma for me! Just as long as I send it to the right person....)

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  1. I just remembered to text @Chrispygirldog who's off with son numero one. Who ever thought that predictive text could handle "cracked wheat"? The parsley fields are overflowing, some tomatoes are ripe and it's time make some tabouli...and I just wasn't going to chance it with "burghul".

    Don't push your luck, I figured.

  2. The tabouli with those fresh items would be terrific, I'm sure. The burghul guess, I've no doubt, would send her straight off to Maccas. The combination would be, I suspect, disappointing.... I'd love to join you for the lunch/meal you seem to have in mind!


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