Not quite as in the musical The Little Shop of Horrors, but in the spirit of your never knowing what I might embarrass myself by writing about, I'm on about teeth.
This foray into dentistry was precipitated by the fact that I'm now in possession of two vital pieces of equipment I came to, or came to me, only after I fell ill. I can't say how grateful I am to have both. It might have special value for people with problems similar to mine.
I'm aware I could be telling you stuff you know about better than I do. But here goes.
The first is pictured here. It's a flosser. Well, that's what I call it - as good a name as any; better'n some. Disposable, of course. Use once, throw away.
I hasten to add that the principle of flossing is hardly new to me. I flossed my teeth regularly for many years, but with the standard dental floss that needs two hands to use.
When I lost the effective use of my right arm and hand for such tricky operations, I was stymied in terms of how to do it. It's not something you want someone else to do for you. I wouldn't anyway.
That's when Tracey remembered about these. The beauty of them for me is that they are operated with one hand. I was very pleased that the gauge of floss thickness was perfect for my teeth, and very strong (much more so than most standard floss), and that after getting familiar with using one, I could reach every crevice between teeth on both sides.
And the other device? I'll come to that in a minute. Firstly, let me tell you a story. Once I remembered that it was an ABC story, I located it online, so that saves me a lot of trouble. Thanks, Auntie, for your brilliant archives.
So, I can cut to the chase and you can read the full story for yourself. The main thing here is that a team of forensic specialists was allowed to do some post-mortems on bodies in nineteenth century graves being relocated in Adelaide.
It turns out that in colonial Australia, one of the common causes of death - and painful death at that - related to teeth problems. Adults and children. Here's a brief excerpt:
Dr Renata Henneberg, Odontologist, Adelaide University: Here we have a lot of cavities, and huge ones. The tooth is half way eaten up. Many of the teeth were still present in the jaws causing very bad breath.
Tim Anson, Project Leader, Flinders University: So this person would have been in a great deal of discomfort?
Dr Renata Henneberg: A great deal of pain, obviously, yes. And you can see here as well rotten teeth. The infection went down the root, the bone was rotting and producing a lot of puss. The puss opened the hole in the bone and was released through the hole. If the pieces of bone were infected to the stage [to cause poisoning to the blood], could even have caused the death of one of the individuals.
Narration: It's not just the adults that suffered with their teeth. Even more telling are the records left in the dentition of the young....